- A wrinkled penis named Murray
I’ve been stretched, rubbed, lubed, watered down, handled by numerous girls – their lips, vaginas, and hands. Now I’m growing small veins. They’re rather disgusting and make Marcus my owner quite irrate. But I think “hey kid, you turned to me too soon too often, what you expect?” So why would the main veins I came equipped with need any extra support? It’s complicated. I imported these mini veins from China while Marcus was in a deep sleep one night. Little china men came through the walls (yea their black tech. would amaze you americans) and noiselessly installed these support veins. I would hate to see Marcus end up in the hospital, too embarassing.
Seems Marc has always had a thing for quantity. Like how many videos and picture his eyes can physically ingest before calling upon me once again to “discharge”. And it’s not that I don’t mind releasing my own vanilla syrup from time to time. It’s similar to your humans and urinating, except not really its much more involved. I get clogged just like any other living organism. Think blue balls.
But now I’m a helpless skin accordion at 25 years of age. Now I have 40 year old friends that are so damn smooth. My jealousy fumes right out of the tip like the exhaust on a locomotive. It seems that their owners are Islamic, ultra religious types. My guy is a good person it’s just that we’re maybe too interconnected. Meaning he’s too sensitive to me when I may just be stretching or yawning in the early morning. Or after he’s eaten a large steak. Meat for some reason really gives me a rush.
My name is Murray and I’m a wrinkled penis at 25! God help me. Well if we’re going to get nostalgic let’s go with this one. A few years back Marcus and this girl were at a Chinese restaurant getting really hammered. Scorpioni bowl style. So I know it won’t be an early night. Either he gets lucky and I go to planet Vag or it’s lubed up lefty again. Either way no nap time for me anytime soon. So Marcus does something right because she’s back in his bedroom, clearly intoxicated. I mean I can smell her breathe through his pants as she’s walking up his stairs to his room. And wouldn’t you know, after making out some she’s heading my way! It starts out ok, but get’s increasingly sloppy! She nicks and teeths me! I was hurting. Thankfully Marcus stands up for me and tells her to calm the fuck down.
I felt a real reptilian lust come over me when she was all over me. As if this was her sexuality from a few lifetimes ago, summoned up by being recently depressed and the scorpion bowls. Total abandonment. But I digress, she was a sweet girl overall.
I really need a long vacation. Marcus! I gotta go in hibernation mode especially with the move to colder climates which will happen in about a month or some. I so hate the cold. So it’ll be no shock if I transmit my inner feelings via Marcus’ written word or photoshop edits.
Murray the wrinkled penis at 25. The saga continues. Exile for now my friends.
- Animal farm, lower anatomy.
Tonight I become cocksuperstar. Watch closely as Wild Willy the cocksmith folds like an accordion all through the wee hours. Swells like a proud child actor grinning after that big movie has just gone off without a hitch. And pumps like a Nabisco Creamery Farm. The visual girls prance in their borrowed clothes, smelling each other before each shoot, smelling sex, smelling girls is underrated. Willy generally prefers “hot pink” and white backdrops. Also big obnoxious jewelery, big hoops, and all the rest. Like Jessica Drake. Drake usually dresses in these skimmpy white jean jackets that usually drive Willy to near insanity, for a short while.
His city is full of Vinny Veinsters that often times work overtime and get “shafted” on pay! Willy is working with his head secretary, Olivia Ovula, and admits that many kinks still need to be worked out to sufficiently pay off the Vein network on a week to week basis.
But things have really come to a head as of late. Venotrucious has ordered Willy to meet with him and the teamsters next tuesday. Scottie Scrotum has just opened a great ale house down at Provincial Square. (The hussy tends to show up early for these events, engaging all patrons, before real union talks start)
Beer over union talks you say…never a winning solution, surely a fight will ensue! But this is the point. The two sides occasionally have to let the barrel spill over for the greater good. Saul Semen is generally very genial with all patrons and shows no sides. He provides security for these trade events. He simply does an exemplary job managing his sticky men to control the scene. Let’s say he has a tight hold on things from the start.
Willy the cocksmith does much in the way of showing favor towards the families of these teamsters during the holidays. Inviting them on an annual basis to his flex-a-thon summer parties. Some veinsters are quite timid or forgiving towards Willy and Willy simply plays these members like putty. Others are bold and blue most of the time, quite thick around the neck as well, as you could rightly imagine. Willy says its the ones that branch off, that is with their loyalties, that are the hardest to control. Real fickle bunch. However the blue monsters do well in reigning these branch off-ers during pay week.
Willy chugs along though. Last week he visited Clarisse the Clitmouse. She was of french/english hodgepodgery background of sorts. Hell, Willy was just happy to have someone to play rubbing games with. This makes the first installment complete.
- Mallory and her Cuts
Mallory proceeded to slit her wrists. Funny thing though. Nothing came out! No blood, no guts, and most importantly no glory.
Mallory was confused. She understood life’s manual as being quite clear in these matters. Blood, guts, and martyrdom glory.
At least among her friends and close relatives. This was not going well. She had two huge gashes in both of her wrists and nothing to show for them. Maybe Jesus or the Buddha was playing an existential trick on her right at this very moment. Like their soul’s energy was interceding in some kind of way? Well Mallory would never consider this, being an atheist from birth. You see
her mother had left her to die in a dumpster, south side of Brooklyn. Could at least explain why at 17 she was cutting herself so frequently. Gosh I’m surprised she didn’t start to cut at a much earlier age.
But again. NO BLOOD! This even confuses me. I only heard about Mallory while I was hanging around the dive bar, coffee bar down the street from me. Two trendy high school girls were chatting about it. Full of “likes and oh my gods!” Their middle class naivety making this into a much bigger deal than it really is or was…But this is a big deal I keep telling myself. They even left pictures on the table of Mallory and her infamous cuts.
Seems like these pictures were being spread around school. Two gashes after the cutting, but absolutely no blood, guts, or glory. Confusing to all concerned. But this started to make me think about higher forces starting to intercede at a much more rapid rate as we approach the Mayan fateful date of Dec. 21, 2012. Could be that these forces were starting to recruit their armies. Saving those that may deem useful to them down the road.
Like the Mayans, Christians, Muslims, and all other elders upon high were doing this at an increased rate. But this gets very theological down the line. Let’s stick to Mallory..at least for this short time being. I don’t have long to post this blog. I have my own mental cuts to produce.
Mallory was a slut, starting at the age of 14. She would suck dick almost every night. Going from house party to house party, only charging something like 5 bucks a blow job. I always thought this was ridiculously low for someone that was as attractive as her. I mean she is a younger version of Gina Gershon! Can you imagine the pure joy you’d get out of her on your knob for 5 bucks! Wow.
Wrist Cuts without blood, guts, or glorification. The girls mentioned from the start that Mallory was obsessed with the movie “The Royal Tennenbaums.” (Owen Wilson later tried to commit suicide, although he wasn’t the character that cut himself in the movie) Also, I’m a huge Elliott Smith fan, so whenever I hear this movie referenced I immediately start humming “needle in the hay.”
Mallory, oh sweet luscious mallory. A girl dumped into the world. Literally. Now trying to Dump herself out of it. Trying to check out but to no avail. I wonder what awaits Mallory, as these spiritual forces do their magic from upon high. If she really is an atheist, then she must be an atheist waiting to summon a higher calling. Time closer to 2012 will reveal her true purpose. But that’s too mushy for now. I need to see levitation to really commit to such a notion.
